Foes or Friends?

I am really tired. I so tired that I have forgotten my password to log in here. LOL... Rather lame... I have alot of complaint to make. Being as human for a quarter century I realise how failure I am.




I have been questioning myself. Who are my friends? I began to drop down some names on my list and slowly I begin to strike them off one by one. I start to ask myself what are friends? Without my mum, Andy and God, I absolutely alone. Sounded pathetic huh? Haizzzzz...



Initially, I thought because, I was too overwhelm with Andy, neglected all my friends, just when I decided to slow down a little, I then realise actually, no one cares who I am with or what I am doing, because they are too busy with their affairs and their circle of FRIENDS. I am not in their circle. I just a passerby whom they ever know or see.




Since young, I already understand the importance of friendship, I even made my 1st swore to a friend to do something that is/was so impossible. I was not that naive or should I say stupid to promise someone that I can't accomplish, but to retain that so-called friendship, I have to do something real stupid even to cost me life and fortune.




I probably the 1st kid around that understand the meaning of "money can make the ghost work" because of friends, I can do something like stealing my parent's money to buy them a treat. At those time, those money really work in that way. And they probably the smartest kids around too, that know that I can provide them "great deal" that their parent unwilling to give them. I could remember one incident, I was grounded to go out for a month or maybe longer... after I set free from " jail" I went back to those so-called friends, the 1st thing they asked was "Got money to go Mac Donald or not?" I have to force myself to say YES and went back to my mum to BEG her for money to treat those friends. Normally, I was the one, who bought the food and they were seated there to wait for the "mother hen to feed them" end of the meal, I will be left with no food for myself, that why I looked so boney during childhood days, but through that meal I gain one day of "friendship". I always tell myself is worth is really worth. At least, I got friends that stay with me.



Sometime thing happened in "History" it does happen in present..... Haizzzzzzzzz.....