Yahoo~~~ 2005 is ending! (Mai yi ya he... Mai yi ya who...)

In another 15 mins from now, will be a brand new year. Receiving alot of SMS greetings from friends, some have asked me, what I expect in the coming 2006? Erm... I really have not been thinking. I am not someone who will plan resolutions for new year. Well... if really have think of some. Maybe I hope that..........

1. Be more filial to my mum


2. Stay healthy


3. Be a well discipline girl for God (devoted)


4. Don't swear too much (that is for sure! in fact not to swear anymore)


5. Save money for retired (must plan early mah....)


6. Prepare for marriage.
   

This year New Year Eve, surprisingly I am not out to anywhere. Being the fact that Andy had gone to his friend's pub for celebration, yet I am nuaning (idling) at home. Yeah! a very different New Year count down and also a very different Sandy.

Oh yeah! Did I mention that, I just got back from movie?
Yes!!! I had went to watch "The Chronicles of Narnia the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." Fwah~~ the computer graphic is magnificent! I love the Unicorn, the Lion and the boy named Edmund (that naughty boy who been caught by the Narnia Queen) Edmund looks like my idiot.. no..no... I mean my idol Lindsay Lohan! The male version of Lindsay Lohan. Wahahah... (Pengzzzzzzzzzzzz...)

He so cute! isn't he?


(Oppss... Lindsay got jealous~)

Oh! and what's more? I have gotten the Narnia Soundtrack.!!!

Well... guess that's all for 2005... see you next year ok? stay tune!

I can't utter a word

Just read XiaXue’s blog again. Hers recent entry has made me recalled that bastard…


It was few years back… I was still 18; my friends (Samantha & her bf) were deciding to visit a friend (Sen) in Surabaya (Indonesia) for free and easy trip. As Sen is the local in Indonesia, he suggested that we drove to Bali, as the distance from Surabaya to Bali is very near. (Approx 8hrs)


Though, Sen is the local, he had never been to Bali, so Uncle (Sen’s dad) had hired this tour guide to drive us there and be our guide to show us around.

The tour guide had intro himself as Lee 40years old and all of us had called him as Coco Lee. not that singer Coco.. but in Java language Coco mean brother.


The four of us (Sen, Sam and bf plus me) were excited… as we were about to explore a new place, and no one expect Sandy’s nightmare has just begin…


We set off at 2am, along the way to Bali we drove to this Mount Bremo where the famous active volcanoes situated. When we reached Mount Bremo was already 5.30am. Oh in case you don’t know, Indonesia sun rising is much earlier than Singapore. We got there was almost sun rising. The weather was really cold, according to the local said it was about 3 dg Celsius!!!!
Wooooo… the smart ass like me thought Indonesia will have the same weather like Singapore, so never brought any thick clothing. I was cuddling Samantha to warm myself.
Suddenly, Coco Lee popped out from nowhere started, hugging me like bolster.
The 1st come to my mind was thinking that the gentleman was being nice to give me a warm embrace during the “freezing” weather, nothing rush to my mind. In fact, I always having inferior of my look, so I never think that he will have any fantasize on me. We were watching the sun rised up like a century egg yolk.



On the 3rd day of our trip at Bali, Sen suggested to go and visit the hot spring, because he had hooked a rich chick at Bali, (must show off his muscles mah) and so Coco Lee drove all of us included the rich chick to the famous hot spring. All of us got changed and got ready to pop into the hot spring to release our “aches” (due to shopping and clubbing since the 1st day we reached Bali).
Coco Lee had joined us in the hot spring too.. he “performed” his butterfly style to show Sen and Samantha’s bf. I was rather impressed by him at such old age can still swim 10 laps of butterfly style.



After awhile, all the lovebirds started to enjoy themselves in hot spring… I began to move away from the “love in the air” atmosphere, playing alone at a corner with the smelly sulphur water. The water was not very hot but it produced a lot of fogs, (maybe is some chemical react) that we can actually play hide and seek.
Suddenly, I bumped on someone.. or should say “something”, to my surprise it was Coco Lee… He pulled me to aside, and we began to chat…


Coco: Wah… all in a pair uh..


Me: (giggling) ai ya, yah lor… me poor thing no bf if not also can be like them.


Coco: ai ya.. if you want you can always get one easily..
Coco Lee began to move closer to me.


Me: har? Ai yo… I so ugly.. where got people want?


Coco: you not bad mah… if you want we can also be like lovebird, let them jealous of us….
I was like don’t know what to say just smiling to show some manners to entertain a old man.


Me: kekeke(fake smile) yah lor…


Coco: come and sit on my lap, girl…



Me: nah~ no thanks!


Coco Lee at that moment, he grabbed my hand to pull me near to him.
I was like… “SHIT!” he treated me as a WHORE! At that time of struggle, he was hugging me at my waist and with another hand groped at my tits.
I was pissed and began to shout out loud,


Me: LET ME GO!!!!!!!!

Coco Lee immediately let go of me and all my friends swam around! They were questioning me what’s going on?
I was paranoid, refused to say anything as I was fearful and wrath that, all my friends who were around yet none of them saw what that “toad” has done to me.


After I clamed down, I revealed to Sen and Samantha, and they laughed, “How could this be possible?” NONE of them believed me! Just because to them I am a plain Jane perhaps, worst than a plain Jane. I got so crossed that, I went to the nearest pub for drinking. (I am lousy drinker)
I got very drunk that night; the only thing I could recall was Coco Lee at the pub too.


The next morning, I open my eyes Samantha was with me. She explained what had happened…
That toad saw me was drop dead drunk, carried me to his car, was intended to send me to somewhere, thanks God Samantha’s bf saw the “whole picture” stopped him, and got Samantha to bring me back to the motel. Samantha had also brought the matter to Sen’s attention but that idiot, said “har? Coco Lee got this kind of taste uh?”


I was #&@*$@x


See… even if we raise up, people might not believe! Worst of all even your best friends choose to see with their own "pak jiao eyes" than to hear from your own mouth.

Conclusion is: only pretty girls got rights to be molested, and guys will believe while ugly girls molested is a hilarious joke.

Ugly girls being humiliated cannot utter a word lor!

Depression

My "anger" has been getting scarier than before, that I can’t control it and I flare up easily… ever thought of killing someone. Seeing a bottle of cough mixture, just feel like finished it all.
I hate to tell you what had happened to me.. or should I say I don’t even know who I am dealing with? I down with depression feeling so helpless!


I do not know what is inside me.. Sometime is so powerful that it controls my body and my mind. I feel like yelling and banging myself on the wall.. I hate hurting my friends and my beloved one and always after flaring my anger at them, I feel regretted and bad of myself.I am so weak now.. I feel like I letting that “thing” take hold of my body.
Whenever, I resist it, I feel an ache in heart, it so horrible! And my ears keep hearing this “is all my fault… is all my fault” I couldn’t breathe! I have this kind of feeling that God is so near yet so far from me.


Who am I fighting with? With Sandy or with satan? Am I defeated or am I hiding?

Christmas Eve

Having so much fun on Christmas Eve! Have catch up with some old friends...

Adeline and me at Balcony...

Winnie and I outside at Paragon...

My two good friends has gave me this for X'mas, so sweet of them...

from Winnie

from Adeline

We having so much time at Orchard... Hope to see them real soon. it has been
2 years since we last went out.

Christmas?

How many of youngster still remember the purpose of celebrating Christmas?
A lot of people have prepared expensive gifts for their friends
Couples have reserved seats from restaurant for candle lit dinners.
What are all this about? How many of us still singing Christmas carol on the eve?
How many of us still remember to thanks God for His birth that we are redeem from our sin?
Some might say I am not Christian so I don’t practice like how you Christian do.
But Jesus came for you too.


Haizzz… what’s more to say and comment about this. Christmas is getting less meaningful to the ungrateful fellows out there.

Master of Chocolate Making

I have been searching high and low how to melt the chocolate and make it to a mold, cause I really have no clue should I add water or should just boil it like that... so.. thanks God for Jas, my spiritual mom she has been very patience guiding me through msn. Is really nice of her.... without her, all my chocolate is chao ta (burnt) leow.

Below are our conversation.. (approved by Jas to post it at my blog)

jas says: no no... i wanna show you by drawing

jas says: okie... i draw then you understand already

Me says: i can't see any drawing

jas says:wait i haven draw ma

jas draws:

Me says: U want to draw what..

jas says: the red color is bowl, the blue color is pot and water...

jas says: the brown is chocolate...

jas says: understand

Me says: It look like shit... ( I referring the brown thing not the drawing)

jas says: ??

Me says: sorry... forgive me

jas says: wadever

Me says: i can't control.. please forgive me.. Thanks for guiding.. i really appreciate

jas says: no problem... so u understand hor...

jas says: then u go back and try

I want say thank you Jas, you are still the best MOM ok? Although the picture looks like er…, but I still love you from the bottom of my heart.
J

God Pampers Me Again (You can be rich if you bother to ask)

God really good to me He gave me MONEY again.
Today I got my pay for DEC… All this while, I have been crying out to everyone saying I am so leong (hokkien language: no money) this DEC “broke” till I can’t even afford to buy X’mas present for my two sisters.

Haizzzz…. but you see God gave me this cheque that mean I am rich again~
I am not going to bank in till next week. You know I can be real spendthrift sometime.
So no way, I am not going to give the chance to be “poor” again.
I really love how God pampers me. He is really beyond my imagination.

Finally, I can boldly say, “Seek you shall find and Ask you shall be given.” cause He really provide.


“Oh let the weak say I am STRONG and let the poor say I am RICH”

男人的脑到底在想些什么

On Friday night, Andy & I decided watch this show



Yes! KING KONG~~ Roooaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs~ We have been travelling from cinemas to
cinema wanted to get a pair of movie tickets as this is a new show on board... Island wide theater had almost fully sold out.
We initially wanted to watch it at Lido, as the seats there are much
comfortable, but unexpectedly.. all sessions tickets were all sold out for that day. !@X%*&@* so we got no choice, and proceeded to Bugis Junction.

The queue was not really long at Bugis, while we were approaching the ticket booth, we saw this so and so promotion, "CitiBank Credit Cards user get free large pop corn" , so I was suggested to Andy.. "Eh.. 用你的 Credit Card leh.."
He suddenly me gave that kind of wanted to "pang sai" look... then I asked,

Me:Eh， what happen to you?

Andy: I got "feeling".

Me: Har? but is almost our turn?

Andy: 你先用你的Credit Card ，等一下还回给你

Me: Don't want lah.. doesn't matter, 你给我你的"CARD"我帮你"SIGN" (Andy's signature is very simple and can easy forge, I did it several times =P)

Andy: (eyes open wide) Har??????? 真的吗?

Me: (nodded my head) 是!

Andy: 我不是在作梦吧?

Me: (At that moment I feel something not right..) 你听到我说了些什么?

Andy: Give me that kind of corny look.... 你说... 要我把我的"COCK"给你帮我"SUCK" lor

Me:$%#X!$#!@！#*X

So much different and yet he can hear wrong!!!!!!!!!!!! Andy， you "cao yi lang" uh?

********男人的脑到底在想些什么********

Dreams

I was having this dream repeatedly for couples of weeks. Mostly my dream was quite blur and don’t know what I was doing, but this one is so clear!
I dreamt that I was heading home, taking the lift, for some of you know that I stay at level 14, so I was pressing the number 14 to get home.
But it seems that the lift always missed my house level. Either, it stop at 13 or 15 (btw, my building highest floor is 14 only) I was kinda pissed off.. so press button 13 thinking of walking up the stair to 14. This time, the lift never gets to stop at 13 it stop at 10. so I tell myself, ok treat it as an exercise
I will climb the stair to level 14, as I begin pursue toward 14 I find that I always got stuck at 13 floor, when I go further up is 15 again.. is like the whole damn day
I was at level 13 and 15. (Just like the building of Shaw centre Scott Istan, taking the escalator from 1st storey and will lead us straight up to 3rd storey).
The next moment, I gave up, I could feel that my teeth falling off like maple leaves in spring…

Is this dream meant something? Or, is it I have missed out the most important thing in my life?

Incest & Birth Control

Yesterday I was reading one the Malaysia magazine article, about "Incest"

(乱伦). It was kinda disgusting.
This story is base on
真人真事". in this particular kampong there stay this mother
and a son. The Mother is 53 years old, and the son is 33 years old.

On one particular night, the beast son was damn drunk and he raped his mother,
due to he was drunk the mother thought that, he might not be "doing it" intentionally, and wanted to forgive him, but to her/my alarm. the beast son, was not remorseful, and yet laughing away the next morning, saying
我兼任你的老公给你爽啊"

Goodness! that bastard can say such thing to the mother??????

The nightmare continue to haunt the poor mother for 14 years... it happened
almost everyday. It seem to become so natural that the mother has treated her son as her hubby (due to 太空虚). Several occasions, the son refused to use condoms, and causes
the mother to conceive 4 times and also went through abortion 4 times.

The nightmare finally over, at this year September, but the bastard took
away all her money inclusive her 棺材本 and ditched her. The silly mother still reveals to the reporters with full pride saying that they were 真心相爱 的, when the reporter, asked her... "if both of you were really deeply in love, why will he left you?" the mother utters with no word.

Sigh.. When women lonesome man takes advantage. Incest is not bearable and
yet people still fool rush in..

According to law, that is against the nature, if sentence found guilty, it can
be jail up to 6-20years.

===========================================================

Birth Control

Lately, Singapore was having a lot of activities, like stop smoking, hand
on Subaru WRX car, DFS pass it on contest..
but this activity has really catch my attention. "Birth Control".

Being honest, in this coming 21st centuries how many of us really practice on
birth control? *doubts*
People in this society are getting less involve in responsibility. Some even
think abortion is also another kind of "birth control"!

Hello?!~ even animal also know about birth control, what's wrong with we humans?
This world is getting more confusing~

EeeeeeeEeee... Si mi lai eh???

When the moment I got home, I saw a damn funny creature at my house!

Oh my goodness!!!! is my dog Gigi

Gigi: KNN~ See what???? I didn't put on my coat only mah.

For a moment, I was dumbfounded to see my dog so "botak". LOL.....
after finding out from my mum, I then got to whole picture.. My sister got
pissed off by my dog for shitting all over her house, so out of anger she shaved Gigi, till like a "nun". kekeke... poor Gigi... due to, weather getting cold and our ground is really like icy cold, Gigi, changes her sleeping position into something like "us"

Gigi: Wah... Si peh shiok uh~

Don't Be A Fool

Today something really upset me, and I really feel outcast, wondering God still there for me?
But thanks God.. this message come just in time to assure me that, He is still around, I will be
such a fool if I say He has forgotten about me.


"The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.'" Psalm 53:1"


There is no God," said Janice to her friend Marge. "If there was, my marriage would not have fallen apart, my mother would not have died of cancer last year, and life would not be so difficult."


Marge offered her friend a gentle smile and placed her arm around Janice's shoulder."No, Janice, God is real. However, do you want to hear something funny?" Marge asked her sorrowful and frustrated friend."What's funny?" asked Janice as she lifted her head up.


Marge replied, "Why do people always blame God when things don't go their way? After all, how do we know it's not Satan causing the problem, or maybe even our own actions?""God could have stopped my mother from dying!" Janice snapped. "He didn't have to let my husband leave me for another woman either!"Again Marge gently smiled as she patted her friend's knee. "Your mom smoked for thirty years, sweetie. Even when the doctor told her to stop because she was having trouble breathing, your mom chose to continue. I know you miss her terribly, but do you really think it is fair to blame God for the wrong choices she made?"Janice shrugged. Marge continued, "When Henry left you for another woman, did God tell him to do it, or was it Henry's own decision?"A tear rolled down Janice's cheek as she whispered, "I guess it was Henry's own actions."


Marge patted Janice's knee again as she replied, "That's right, sweetie. Many of the hardships we go through in life are a direct result of our choices, or the choices of those near and dear to us. Sometimes their wrong choices or sinful behaviors end up hurting us though." Marge continued as she reached for her friend's hand and grasped it tightly."God loves you, Janice. He loves the sacred bond of marriage too, and I am sure it broke His heart as much as yours when you and Henry divorced. And, when your mom died, I am sure He understood your grief, and wanted to comfort you."Janice placed her hand over Marge's, smiled, then whispered, "I feel like such a fool now.

Thank you for reminding me that there are some things in life we just don't have control of, and that just because bad or sad things sometimes happen, it doesn't mean that God doesn't exist."

Temptation

What is temptation?
Temptation is like "sweet temptation chocolate"
The more you take the more "sinful" you get at your waist..
Temptation can be poisonous. I always overdose! Temptation
Can be sweet at 1st, but when you are so addicted to it.. soon it can overtake your mind and body.

I hate to be tempt but every time I was been tested.
Tested and failed, tested and failed, don’t know how many timesdo I have to ask God for forgiveness for my reckless "tempted action"

There was one incident I was at pool salon as usual playing pool with Andy, I was been stop by a group of guys, " Miss your handphone has dropped"
I was like, "hur? Ok thank you!" I picked the handphone, and pass it to Andy.
I knew that handphone is not mine.. but by my greedy action and so tempted
To have the phone.. I just anyhow say that handphone is mine.
Along the way, home I was thinking.. Does my action similar to someone?
Suddenly, something strike on my mind, Oh gosh! "Adam and Eve"
Eve was tempted to eat the forbidden fruits and she yet passed it to Adam.

In a whole damn human's life, how many times will a person been tempt?
100 or 1000
*doubts*

Shit day! Women always tekan by Men!

Another feel like shit day! Firstly today is Monday... every Monday I will
have this blues in me.. that make me wanted to stay at home,
Don't wish to go anywhere (Yes! Not even to work)

Secondly I was rather giddy
the whole morning.. while taking bus.. the bus wasn't moving.. but my vision was wobblers and I walked like a drunken idiot in the bus.

Thirdly, today is my 3rd month serving in my company, but yet I receive any
confirmation letter, that make me feel so demoralize.

Well... I choose to be happy! Nothing can beat me down, they don't confirm
me is their lost. Is really hard for me to smile as I told God that, I am not going to care
so much cause I only concern, about my family and house loan. But since my old house has already sold, there shouldn't be any heavyload upon my shoulder now.

Just hoping that tomorrow will be a brighter day for me.

============================================================

Just heard from a group of guys was talking about this..

"Girls who write blog normally are attention seekers."

No doubts I am a attention seeker but I don't want to get any attention from
my blog. I personally find that blog or blogspot, is my diary & also a platform for
me to voice out my un-satisfaction. We can't always go to a friend to borrow a
listening ear. Sometime they ain't just listening they can also be someone who give
unnecessary advice.Funny is why no one bother to ask why the guys blogging too?


Yesterday I was reading Rockson's blog he mention about this

"Usually girl who like sex a lot is very ugly one"

See!!! Guys has problem with girls again and what's more? an ugly girls somemore.
Why must they say ugly girls are horny girls?
I have not prejudiced over Rockson, and I always enjoy reading Rockson's blog.,
but I find this statement is really sensitive. Haizzzzzz.. nevermind is not
important anyway. Man always think big of themselves...

Ang mo vs Sinkapur

***IMPORTANCE***



Below URL may cause discomfort, watch at your own risk... (Click on it)



"Ang Mo Version"

VS

"Sinkapur Version"

Testify for God (Jesus)

Ok... I got to admit that I am reading Xiaxue's blog again. I don't classify that I
dislike her.. but... erm.. how should I put it... we share different kind of mindset, perhaps
she still very young.

I was reading one of her entry this afternoon, which I rather..... I don't say it ,as angry or upset, but likely to say it as "disturbing". Being as a Christian for almost 12 years, I got to admit
that Christian are no saints. In fact, we are often a "public attack target", due to people having a mindset that Christian are like angels.

I am a Christian, but I don't think I am a devoted Christian, as I often swearing, but one thing
I can say is God is real, take

my experience as proof

I am here to clear some doubts for some of you
(non-Christian)

Qtn 1: Is it true that Christian must contribute 10% of
your salary to church?
Ans: Yes! The 10% is necessary, not to emphasis it as compulsory. After all
attending a church service for approx 2 hours with the air-con, lights , Holy
Communion and so much other things that the church have to pay. It will not
be too much to contribute a 10% of your pay, right?

Qtn 2: Why must it be 10%?
Ans: Christian believes that all we have is from God, if God has provided us
with 100% by returning 10% is just like giving your parent a token of appreciation.

Qtn 3: I earn my salary with hardship how can you say is
your God provide me?
Ans: We come to this world is not by coincidence, is all God has planned.
Just like you are Singaporean, is God choose you to be in Singapore, and
should thank you God that He never station you at where-else (less fortunate countries)
Even, the current job you have, it was Him, who helped you clinch the job.

Qtn 4: Why are Christian so desperate to bring or convert people to be Christian?
Ans: Reason is simple, because we care! in Holy Bible stated this verse: John
3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only son. Whosoever believe in Him, shall not perish but
have eternal life." We are hoping to get more salvation, as possible so that we will enter to
the gate of Heaven.

Qtn 5: Why must Christian help the unbeliever, ever since
they are already Christian and got the "permit" to Heaven?
Ans: In Holy Bible the 1st book of Genesis has mention, that God has
created Man and Woman, we are his mighty creations. We share the same
God (Father). and it is true that if we do not believe (trust) in Him, we can never
enter to Heaven. Moreover, Christian are been teach to Love one another.
That is why we must make know to everyone that God is exist and
He wants us to be united as one body, to testify His Goodness.

Qtn 6: Bounce back to Xiaxue question: "a) Who is she to tell me how to live my life
and that I'd go to hell? She heard these information from Jesus? b) Why can't Jesus tell me himself? c) Just because priests spend their lives studying the bible doesn't mean that they are
necessarily close to God than I am right?"
Ans a): Ok.. perhaps your friend is nobody to you, and I apologies to you, that
your friend words might be too hash toward you. but what she
said is seriously true! In Revelation 20:15
¹⁵If anyone's name was not found written in
the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire (Hell).
Ans b): If a non-believer heart is not open, he/she can't never able to listen to
what Jesus intend to tell him/her, and if Jesus would have tell Xiaxue directly, I guess she probably freak out.. LOL!
Ans c): Erm.. they are not called priests, they are called apostles, they don't write the Holy Bible through their own imagination, they did live with Jesus, (remember Jesus had 12 disciples? they are the one who wrote)
and they were journalisms of Jesus, who drop down every single details. How
can we proved that the Bible is real? I doubt you have read the whole Bible.
In the last book of the Bible, Revelation 22:18-19
"¹⁸I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. ¹⁹And if anyone takes words away
from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of
life and in the holy city, which are described in this book (Holy Bible)."

Would anyone take such risk to play such joke? That is up
to you to decide and is up to HIM to judge...