君儿加油吧~

Sometime is not how hard you try and you will achieve. Is a matter of what is our expectation level. I thought I have work hard enough for the company, I think I have never been so hardworking in my entire life. I used to be late for work, regularly on mc at least twice a month. Lately, I have motivate myself to kick those habits. I have stay back at work till wee hours... supposing I should be "confirm" by this early month, but yet till now, my boss has not breathe a
word.

I am really downcast... I previously was an job hopper, but now I choose to stay on, and perseverance and endurance. Whatever it is, I was down with serious sick, and I choose not to utter a word of dissatisfaction yet I don't even get a encouragement from my boss. Sometime, I wonder how much I worth? Do I have value? Should I still stay on? on should I move on?

I have no one to discuss with. I suppose to seek God for advice, but I have been quite snag to attend church lately. Yes! bad me.... I really don't know how long can I "survive"? Lately, I having this thought... if there is a time machine, and If I can reverse the time... what year will I want to be... I think, I will choose to go back to the time where Jesus just birth, to be his follower. No doubts, I am His follower now, but I want to be the blind man who can touch Jesus's clothes and got heal eternally. Not only to heal my sickness but to heal my soul too. I feel very weak and frail. I have no efforts to move.... My spirit is dying...

Jasmine has been the only one around encouraging me to 加油! 唉。。。 身上都没什么油，
找谁加给我? No matter, how narrow or how much obstacles in front of me, I must not turn back and run... I must not give up.... Lord for your grace is sufficient for me, for You have carry all my sorrow and pain upon the cross, and I choose stand firm with You.

神啊！给我力量吧！